Fick Manelli
by Rodmeister
Summary: A strange soap salesman with rotting hands tries to get Muriel to use his soap.


Zombie Hands Man

It is an especially rainy night outside. Eustace is rocking in his chair reading the Nowhere News while Muriel knits a flower patterned sweater for courage. A bolt of lighting strikes the old windmill sending courage under the rug for cover. His teeth chatter uncontrollably and still do when Muriel grabs him out from hiding. She puts the flower sweater on him.

Muriel: Oh isn't it lovely Courage?

Eustace (muttering): Stupid dog.

Muriel: I'm going to go make some tea for myself. Would you like some Eustace?

Eustace: Mah.

Eustace pulls out his big green mask as soon as Muriel leaves.

Eustace: Ooga Booga Booga!

Courage: AGhhhHhhh!

In another flash of lightning a shadowy figure appears outside the Bagge's window.

Courage: OooOoo!

Eustace: Stupid dog.

In a moment there is a light tapping at the door. The rain makes it barely audible.

Eustace (angrily): Who's there?

When no one answers he goes back to reading. A short while later the knocking proceeds.

Courage: Ohhohh.

Eustace gets up and yanks open the old wooden door. A man stands on the farm's porch getting soaked in the rain. His hands are fairly large with dead skin flaking off of them. Most of the dead skin has gotten caught in his tight green sweater. The man's face is skinny, but has big squirrelly eyes

Eustace: We don't want any!

Eustace slams the door with a large bang.

Courage: Phew.

After a while there is another knock on the door.

Eustace: I said we don't want any!

Just then Muriel enters the room.

Muriel: Eustace, what's going on here? …Oh for heaven's sake Eustace.

Muriel opens the door and steps aside so the man can come in.

Muriel: Let me go bring you some tea.

The man sits down while Muriel goes into the kitchen. Courage watches him from under the rocking chair. As the boys wait for Muriel the only thing that can be heard is the sound of the man rubbing the couch's armrest. When she returns Muriel sets a silver tray with cups of tea onto the coffee table. Courage quickly grabs one, then runs behind her. Eustace grabs one without looking away from his paper.

Muriel: So what brings you to Nowhere?

His voice is cold and cool at the same time.

Fick: My name is Fick Manelli. I was hoping I could spend the night.

Courage: OooOoo.

Fick: You see, I'm on my way to the spoon collector's convention.

Muriel: Oh spoons, that sounds interesting. Did you hear that Eustace?

I think we have a spare bed down in the cellar. Eustace would ya mind settin' it up for the gentleman?

Eustace: AEhh.

Eustace puts down the paper and slams the basement door on his way down.

Muriel: So Mr. Manelli, what do you do for a living?

Fick: Please, call me Fick. I make and I sell skin products.

Out of his pocket Fick pulls out a small black briefcase. He sets it on his lap and opens it. From the case he hands Muriel a mint green colored bottle.

Fick: Free of charge.

Courage: Ohhhooo

Muriel: Oh my. Thank you Fick. I'm going to get washed up before bed.

Muriel: Starts going up the stairs when Fick calls after her.

Fick: Don't forget to use the soap.

Courage: Ohhhhh

Eustace comes out of the basement. He mumbles to himself before going to his room.

Courage: What's going to happen to Muriel?

Fick: Nothing, nothing. Why don't you get some sleep dog?

Fick goes into the basement. Courage's stomach growls extremely loudly so he blushes. Then he jogs into the kitchen to make a bowl of chocolate ice cream. By the time he's done he's made a tower of ice cream bigger then himself. He literally throws a cherry on top and starts to head into the living room. A line of skin shavings leads to the upstairs.

Courage: AGHHHHHHH!!

Courage runs up the stairs and sees Muriel washing her hands with the green soap. The soap is causing her skin to flake.

Courage: Muriel, no!

Then from behind, courage is yanked by his tail and sent flying down the stairs. When he crashes into the wall below he smiles.

Courage: A Heeh Hee Heh!

Fick slides down the rail and lunges for Courage. Courage dodges the attack and starts to run back up the stairs.

Fick: You stupid dog, get back here.

Fick uses his hands to climb up the wall alongside the stairs. Courage runs up the stairs while Fick climbs the wall, chasing him, for about a minute. When they get to the top Courage steals the bottle of soap from a humming Muriel. He tosses it down the stairs.

Fick grabs courage in a choke hold. He starts to fall backwards slowly pulling courage back with him. Courage's one hand hangs onto the railing. With each second that passes each finger lets go of the rail making the sound of a broken string.

The two wrestle down the stairs with lots of loud random noises shaking the house. At the bottom Courage grabs the bottle and runs for the kitchen. Fick jumps down from the ceiling and kicks Courage through the living room and out the front door. Courage gets up. Panting, he limps to the windmill.

Fick is crawling on all fours across the farm while courage climbs to the top of the windmill. Fick gets to the top with him and they both draw swords. Courage wears a small tin helmet with chainmail armor. They duel atop the windmill for a while until a gust of wind hits the blades. Both of them hold on for their lives. Courage holds back a barf. Then he chucks the bottle of soap at Fick and knocks him off into outer space.

Suddenly, the windmill slows down. Courage hops off and walks back to the house.

Muriel: Courage where did ya go?

Courage: (Holds in a puke)


End file.
